XYZ Column: TaurusAg

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Ever hear of Dear Abby? Well, VGC is here to bring you our new advice column…


Responses from the female, male, and trans or “ze” perspective.

Question 1: Two of my close friends broke up a few months ago and it was a nasty break up. My birthday is coming up, and I want to have a get together at my home. Do I invite them both, invite neither, or just invite the one I’ve known the longest? I don’t want things to be uncomfortable, but I also don’t want to have to leave anyone out of important events in my life. Suggestions? -signed, TaurusAg

X: Dear TaurusAg, if you’re friends with both individuals then you may also already know the status of the ex’s. i.e. are they cordial now with each other or do they hate when the others name comes us in mere topic. If you know theses things already then I’m sure you can make the best decision for your future life events. If you do not know these things then I would invite both individuals AND also let them know as a courtesy that you also invited their ex. This allows them to make a mature decision and takes the pressure off you. If they are mature then let them make the decision if they can be around their ex and still celebrate you. I hope this helps. ~ Best Wishes


Y: There are a few scenarios that could solve this dilemma. Scenario One, since you are still friends with both invite both of them and hope they can respect your wishes for a night and not create a scene. Scenario Two, invite the one you are closest too regardless of how long you have know them. That person will probably be less likely to take attention away from you with questions about the breakup or trying to win sympathy votes. Last Scenario, Because it’s your day invite neither to avoid any possible drama and do things with them separately. Regardless of what you choose, just make sure to enjoy YOUR day! 😉


Z: Hey, TaurusAg… look, it’s your big day.birthdays are special. I would have a conversation with them both and let them know who you invited. Leave the decision up to them. If they can’t be respectful in each others’ presence at YOUR event, you need a new set of friends… good luck!

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